Small victories

Despite having a pretty good weekend catching up with friends, I still woke up this morning feeling like I got zero break from work at all. I woke up on time, but dang was it hard to get myself out of the house. It was definitely one of those days when I didn’t think I could walk out the door. I almost called in twice.

But yay me, somehow I made it to work and I’m glad I did. I’m trying so, so hard not to be one of those people that call out a day every week despite being completely exhausted with work and internship. It just seems to be getting harder and harder though, and I think the burnout is getting to pretty noticeable levels.

I find myself dreaming of just being able to do school. Just taking out a student loan, quitting, paying for my living expenses and health insurance with the loan, and giving everything I’ve got to my school at 100% for the next 6 months. Risky? Yes. Expensive? Hell yeah. But damn, if it isn’t looking like a better and better option every day. The cold and the snow aren’t helping either. It’s so much harder to get out of bed knowing I’ll have to be blasted with icy air as I make my way to work.

It wouldn’t be so hard if it wasn’t for my internship. Heck, it wouldn’t be so hard if my internship wasn’t almost an hour away!

But alas, it is. And I’m becoming more aware that every hour I spend driving there, then driving back, is an hour wasted. With my current schedule I don’t have time to waste, damnit!

But I’ve got to sit tight with the schedule I have until I hear from my school about whether I qualify for any loans or scholarships. Here’s hoping you guys. I’m terrified, because I’ve never taken out a loan before and graduate students don’t qualify for subsidized loans. But I don’t think I can go much longer at 150%.

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